


You'll be the death of me

by Melphis_Amekia



Category: Mahou Shoujo Madoka Magika | Puella Magi Madoka Magica
Genre: Canon Compliant, F/F, Fluff, bit of angst, fair bit of fluff, hopefully, just a little tribute to my OTP cause I love them so much, rebellion spoilers
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-11-01
Updated: 2017-11-01
Packaged: 2019-01-27 22:26:28
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,725
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12591876
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Melphis_Amekia/pseuds/Melphis_Amekia
Summary: There is an absence in Kyouko's life that she cannot explain or escape from, whether she wants to or not.





	You'll be the death of me

**Author's Note:**

> So I wanted to write a KyouSaya fic ever since I finished the show, but I waited a bit until I also watched Rebellion before I really settled on what and how I want to write it. Just to note there immediately, I've written them as their Wraith arc/Rebellion selves, or this fic would have been written a lot differently(though likely with the same little bonus part).
> 
> Anywho, I hope you guys enjoy it, and please kudo and comment <3

_The taste of pocky in her mouth felt even better as Kyouko became ready to spring her little plan into motion._

_She moved with intent, let the first strike of her spear come as a surprise to the blue-haired girl. This idealistic fledgling had no chance against Kyouko no matter what the circumstances were - even if she had started the fight bound and collared by that girl, Kyouko knew she would have won even by brute force alone. There was no rule against not exploiting every advantage she could._

_And not letting them go, as she struck again and again at the girl even as she barely defended all those strikes._

_To the girl’s credit, she fought with equal determination as Kyouko did, giving her all to match her blow for blow even though her strikes were so much weaker. At one point, Kyouko even let her gather her strength and defended the strongest strike she could make with ease. Kyouko was about to finally finish the charade when that blue-hair in front of the girl’s face disappeared. Sayaka’s furious azure eyes stared her with such unbridled hate that Kyouko was taken aback-_

-and almost jumped out of the bed as she woke up.

Cold sweat clung to her skin like bugs were crawling all over it, her heart startled into an overdrive so fast she could barely keep breathing. Her eyes were too bleary to see anything at all, and her body was far colder than she thought it should have been.

Worst of all was this sick feeling in Kyouko’s stomach that threatened to make her hurl right then and there on Sayaka’s bed.

A shiver went through Kyouko. Sayaka’s bed. She was in Sayaka’s bed, in the real world, in her room, not in that disgusting dream that felt far too real. The sheets might have been cold now that she all but threw them around everywhere, but she could touch them, confirm they were not a trick of her mind. Kyouko let out a sigh of relief. It was maybe too early to call it, but she was certain she wasn’t dreaming anymore.

Looking around, nothing much seemed out of place compared to how it usually was. Not even Sayaka’s absence was unusual - sometimes, she had business Kyouko knew nothing about and Sayaka said she couldn’t explain aside from that it was really important. Kyouko trusted her and let her be. There was something inside that told her Sayaka would explain everything in time.

Kyouko shivered again, this time from the cold. She put her arms around herself, wishing it was Sayaka she was hugging instead.

\----

By the time she got up from the bed and dressed herself, her heartbeat had slowed down to normal and the dream faded slightly from her memory. Traces of it remained clear, especially that look Sayaka gave her, but it was alright. It was just a dream. Kyouko would never be scared enough of something as trifling as dreams were that she would end up hapless. She was the one bringing the Nightmares to heel with the rest of them, not the other way around.

She fixed herself up an early breakfast from Sayaka’s fridge, awake enough now to think things through a bit better. As she sat up on the counter to eat the apple and the egg fried rice, Kyouko thought back to when Homura showed her they were trapped in this city forever. Ever since then, everything felt ever so slightly off, like she could look at anything around her and it would feel emptier than it should have.

Her dream flashed back in her mind. Was it really just an apparition as Kyouko hoped? How much of this - her staying at Sayaka’s place, eating this food, _them_ \- was really real? How much of it was actually a dream?

Although that sickening feeling returned to her stomach, Kyouko kept eating her breakfast. She did not know the answer to those questions and it scared her far more than she would ever show to anyone else. Her course was set, though. There was one person who could tell her what she wanted to know, one person who was sure to set her doubts aside.

Whatever the answer was, Kyouko was going to keep fighting just like she always had.

\----

„Maaan, what the hell’ve you guys gotten me into?” Kyouko grumbled as she helped Sayaka land on her feet. She didn’t appreciate coming in at almost the last second like this, but it didn’t matter so long as Sayaka was safe.

„Thanks a lot!” Sayaka replied in a cheerful voice, but Kyouko paid it no mind. She settled against Sayaka’s back without a word. Sayaka quieted down fast, maybe sensing the mood. Perfect. There was a lull in the battle and she needed to say her piece before they had to fight again.

"I had a sickening dream about you last night. You were...”

The word got stuck in Kyouko’s throat, the image crystal clear in her mind. It hurt, but she continued despite it, doing her best to keep her voice calm:

„You were dead, and we had been enemies. But it wasn't a dream. It _was_ real, wasn't it? This right here, us fighting side by side, this is the dream, ain't it?"

Sayaka said nothing for a few moments before her voice, full of sadness, rang out clearly across this hellish landscape.

"It'd be sad if it were, but it's not like that, not really.”

Kyouko wanted to ask what she meant by that, but Sayaka continued:

„I thought I didn't have any regrets when I died. But, the truth is, when I found out about this assignment, I _jumped_ at the chance to come back! Cause, in the end, I did have one regret.

You. I missed you."

Kyouko didn’t know what affected her more - what Sayaka just said or just how she said it, her tone full of that same longing she knew oh-so-well. Maybe it was even the way Sayaka clasped her hand firmly but still softly, like she never wanted to let go. The little magical girl to the side was saying something and Sayaka shot something back exasperatedly, but that didn’t matter. Tears had already fallen before Kyouko could put a stop to them, her first tears ever since her father killed himself.

But it was alright. These were tears she would never regret because they were for the one person that she came to value more than her own life. They were for Sayaka, and Sayaka only, and Kyouko was determined never to forget them. No matter what happened, even if the universe restarted itself again and she had to find Sayaka again...

Kyouko would always remember her.

She smiled and took off after her fool, who had already rejoined the fight. There was a newfound lightness to her movements, an even deeper understanding between her and Sayaka that their enemies fell before them easier than they have ever before. At this moment, Kyouko _knew_ nothing could stand against them anymore.

Not even the very world.

\--------------

There was something missing from Kyouko’s life.

Her eyes were trained on the screen in front of her, her legs moving in perfect harmony to the beat of the music and the steps she needed to make. None of the challenges were really all that difficult for Kyouko after years and years of practice, but the toughest ones could still give her a good exercise. No matter how much of a sweat she worked up, though, her mind was always elsewhere as she continued dancing on and chewing through her pocky.

How to explain to someone this incredible emptiness inside her? How to explain the feeling of an absence so vast, that it belonged to someone who she couldn’t remember. The one memory Kyouko recalled with any clarity at all - a wisp of blue hair with azure eyes, the warmth of her back, intertwined fingers - hurt like a pressure on her heart. Always there, unmoving, a reminder for something she had forgotten and could not pierce through.

Kyouko knew it should have made her mad. It did, in part. How could she have become stuck with a curse like that? She had no idea what she did in that past life, if there ever was one, to deserve this kind of torture. There were so many points in her life she wanted to simply move on from this issue, forget it and live her life. It would have solved so many problems, let her enjoy this life she had been given. Her family was together with her, poor but happy, and she would have hated it any other way.

But, she couldn’t. Even going through these practiced motions with her biggest hobby, that absence still clung onto her the way her clothes would after emerging from a deep lake.

Kyouko missed... whatever it was she missed so much trying to tear it out of herself was like a piece of her soul being extracted by a pincer.

As the screen showed the perfect score, Kyouko jumped away from the machine and left the arcade in quick steps. She sighed mournfully, regretting that her first day of her college had to be a day where she reminisced even more than usual about that. It was not the first time her mind went this way during a dance. Kyouko was sure it wasn’t going to be the last. Whatever the drawbacks were, just the dancing was always fun enough to leave her in a good mood no matter what.

Slinging her backpack again over her shoulder and putting another pocky in her mouth, Kyouko turned in the direction of Mitakihara University. Her classes were starting today and she was feeling like she could totally sit through half a day’s worth of boring lectures. Her family did count on her to become the best of them. For them, it was worth doing it.

\-----

All thoughts of attending classes dropped once Kyouko spotted blue hair and azure eyes.

It was right when she entered the main study building of the campus when she spotted them amongst all the other students at the other end. In a blink of an eye, she was out of the scene, replaced by another wave of students passing through the hallway.

In another blink, Kyouko was racing to the end of the hall, uncaring about everyone else she was passing through or knocking over. The dancing earlier gave her a speed boost despite all the obstacles in her path. They didn’t matter - the answer did. Could it have been what or who she had been missing for so long? Was it really them?

For all her speed, the person had already vanished by the time Kyouko got around the corner, not having broken a sweat. After taking a careful look around her to double check that they were really gone, Kyouko facepalmed herself hard while rolling her eyes at the same time.

„Geez, I’m so stupid. Why did I think that was a good idea?”

She sighed ruefully, angry for the moment for letting such a stupid thing take her over so easily. That must have been an illusion, some trick of her mind played on her. It was disappointing how easily she fell into the trap. If only it had been the first time it happened...

„Eh, whatever.” Kyouko spoke aloud again, disregarding the quizzical looks from the others. She put another pocky in her mouth in the place of the old one.

„I guess I should head to class.”

The class was the last thing on her mind, but her will to live up to her family’s expectations did force her to think more seriously about them. It would have been a lot better for her if she could have mulled over this somewhere else, or maybe expended more energy on the couple of angry-looking students walking in her direction. They had such fierce expressions on their faces that it took a lot for Kyouko not to laugh. Kyouko did trip them, but did they really have to be so infuriated by that? How boring.

Ignoring those idiots, Kyouko made her way inside the building towards where her class was held. She had her priorities, and this was to be the first step on her path to become a model student.

And the last one as well, because no sooner did she sit down in her chair were those morons erased from her mind, replaced by the illusion that happened a bit earlier. Kyouko supposed it wasn’t a big loss. It wasn’t like she listened to classes ever anyway.

The beat of her heart was far too loud for that.

\-----

„You!”

Kyouko hadn’t taken one step out into the open, the dusk sun heralding the end of the day, when a girl with blue hair and azure eyes came into her sight, leaning against a brick wall to the side of the building. She was hanging out with three other girls, all of them familiar in that weird manner as if she was supposed to know them already. Her pocky fell out of her mouth as she ran towards them, unwilling to give them a chance to escape.

All four of them were apparently stunned by Kyouko’s yell that they were looking at her with wide eyes. It would almost have been funny were it not for the circumstances around it.

„You!” Kyouko repeated once she barged into their little circle, though it was less „barging” and more „sliding into it so neatly like she belonged already”.

„Who are you?”

Kyouko could see each of them now with clarity - the pink-haired girl to her immediate left, her act demure but with a soft confidence in her stance, red ribbons tying her side twin-tails; the black-haired girl next to her, relaxed but with determined, almost cold stare; the blonde girl with a fancy styled hair, her amber eyes looking at Kyouko suspiciously, dressed in clothes matching her fancy hair. All of her senses screamed that she should know, know, know them, but her frustrating mind was drawing a blank at even their names, much less anything else.

And there was the last girl, the worst offender of them all. One look at her made it clear she had the answers, all locked behind those thin lips drawn into a pretty little smile. Kyouko was almost afraid to touch her, even take a closer look than she already had. There was no defense against those intoxicating azure eyes, however, ones she hadn’t seen in both far too long and far too short.

„Do you not remember us, Kyouko-chan?” asked the pink-haired girl inquisitively, forcing Kyouko to focus on her.

„I... I do, but I also don’t.” Kyouko replied, her mind barely forming coherent words. „It’s like a stubborn block that doesn’t let me pass even though I’m doing my best to destroy it.”

„The Kyouko-chan I know wouldn’t give up easily! I know you can do it!” cheered on the girl, though she turned bashful immediately after saying that.

„I _had_ hoped, once we found you again, you would have remembered us clearly.”

„Now, now, Madoka-chan,” spoke the blonde, her voice as rich and mature as ever, „you cannot blame her for that at all. After all, you had almost forgotten about us too. It took a lot of effort on Homura-san’s part for you to remember everything.”

„Please, Mami-san, don’t chide Madoka like that.” the black-haired girl, Homura, yes that was Homura, said. „Although, I can’t deny it was frustrating for quite a while...”

As the pink-hai-, no, Madoka chuckled uncertainly, some of the pieces of the puzzle began falling together into place. Homura and Madoka’s relationship in so many other worlds, Mami helping all of them learn and fight monstrosities, Kyouko included, something... something more...

But, the one mystery that Kyouko wanted to solve eluded her so far since the blue-haired girl hadn’t spoken so far. Once Kyouko’s eyes were back on her, the intensity displayed in those eyes would have taken her aback had she not been the target so many times before.

„How much do you remember?”

That voice! Kyouko knew it better than the rest of their’s, heard the same questioning tone enough times to recognize it in her sleep.

„I don’t know.” she replied honestly, looking back at the blue-haired girl with anticipation. What was she going to do? Say something? Would that help Kyouko’s memories at all? What _would_?

With deft movements, the blue-haired girl moved from her place at the wall to leaning on Kyouko’s back. She grabbed Kyouko’s left hand firmly but softly, like she never wanted to let go. Kyouko gasped.

„Do you remember now?”

How could Kyouko had let herself forget was the better question. She had promised silently, in that other world, that she would never forget. Even if the very world got in the way with everything it had, she swore to remember forever. Such a stupid mistake... but she couldn’t do much about it anymore. Now, she knew better, oh so much better. Even if Kyouko remembered only the one thing right now, it was more than enough since it meant she could keep her promise after all.

„I do, Sayaka.”

Kyouko sensed the smile on Sayaka’s face, most likely mirroring the one on her own face. The absence that had weighed on her for so long vanished into smoke, its existence already erased from her memory. It was irrelevant now that Kyouko finally found that missing piece of her soul.

Sayaka let go of her hand, both of them swirling around towards each other.

„I’m happy you’re back, Kyouko.”

Kyouko nodded, smiling mischievously like she hadn’t in what felt like forever.

„I’m happy too.”

\-------

Bonus:

That they had never kissed up to now, a week later after the reunion, Kyouko proclaimed in her mind to be a sin against God. Her father might have argued against it, if he ever heard Kyouko say it. She wasn’t bothered by it. Swaying her father to her side would be easy, after all.

The kiss came almost out of nowhere. Kyouko was hanging out at Sayaka’s, hovering over her chair as she watched some extremely meme-y videos on YT. They were far too elaborate and weird for Kyouko’s tastes, but Sayaka was so into them that she was half-way through making one of her own. Naturally, it was Kyouko’s duty to tease her about it without mercy, both with words and little pranks like spinning her chair or messing with her hair.

She was not prepared for when Sayaka pulled her into her lap.

It was like everything else with them, fights that seemed to pull them apart before drawing them back to each like magnetic poles. Their eyes stared at each other in wonder, their lips a paper-width apart.

Kyouko closed the gap first.

Sayaka’s lips were slightly chapped, but softer to kiss than Kyouko expected. The chaste, experimental kiss was a bit of a mess, neither of them sure how to exactly do it. Kyouko soon relaxed though. Being this close - even closer than she ever had been! - to Sayaka was everything she wanted at this moment in time. To look into her fiery azure eyes, smell the cheap deodorant mixed with her own scent that was so perfectly hers, press against her at so many places at once...

When they finally broke off the kiss, both of them a bit breathless, Kyouko wished she could get back right to it. Instead she just gazed onto Sayaka as if there was nothing else that existed in the world.

Until an idea popped into her mind, the perfect idea to ruin the moment in her style.

Kyouko gave Sayaka a nice, long smooch before pulling back and saying:

„Your kissing sucks.”

Sayaka rolled her eyes and sighed, obviously exasperated. She retaliated by smooching the same way back.

„ _Your_ kissing sucks.”

Not one to be one-upped so easily, Kyouko pulled Sayaka into a deeper kiss, her tongue teasing along Sayaka’s lips, almost touching Sayaka’s tongue.

„No, I’m definitely sure it’s on you.” she said after breaking off the kiss gently.

The expression on Sayaka’s face - equal amounts of annoyance, desire and mischief written into it - told Kyouko she was in the exact kind of trouble she liked being in.

„Oh, _really_? Then, what abooooout...”

She made this exaggerated motion, hands stretching out and head looking in every other direction than Kyouko, biting her lip... before she swooped in, entangling her fingers in Kyouko’s hair and pulling her in for the deepest kiss yet. With how much Sayaka gave into it, her lips and tongue exploring with so much passion, Kyouko knew she was going all out.

It was amazing.

Kyouko did her best to retaliate in kind during that kiss, but she was sure nothing she did would help her case. The smug-as-hell smile Sayaka sported afterwards was proof enough.

„ _Top that_!” Sayaka declared victoriously, confident she finally had the upper hand. Kyouko couldn’t deny she was winning as it was right now... but Sayaka also made a crucial mistake. It was rule number one when going against Kyouko: _never_ make a fatal misstep like that.

Kyouko teased the bra strap peering through the T-shirt on her shoulder.

„Well, if you’d let me take off that T-shirt of yours for starters, I am pretty sure I could show you how to _top that_.”

The fake-scandalized look on Sayaka’s face made it apparent Kyouko hit the bull’s-eye.

„You wish I’d let you to that! Dream _on_ , rebel girl.”

„I’ll make sure to not let that stay a dream, valiant knight.”

Sayaka put her hands up in the air while rolling her eyes, an exasperated sigh escaping her lips. It was the perfect of show of how not to assume victory against Kyouko before it was all fully settled.

„Kyouko, you’ll seriously be the death of me.” she said, her voice full of fondness.

„That’s what I’m banking on. Don’t worry, though.”

Kyouko took a longer strand of Sayaka’s azure hair, played with it like she did with her own. But, that was all reflex. Her eyes never left Sayaka’s.

„You’ll likely be the death of me too.”

**Author's Note:**

> Author's note: a week later after Sayaka's proclamation of no taking clothes off, they banged
> 
> if anyone wants me to write that, please tell me so so I can add that to my schedule !
> 
> Otherwise, it's back to work on my Koe no Katachi fic


End file.
